i hope

i hope that i am not pushing away someone that is very special to me. I do not mean any disrespect when i say no. i believe that good things come to those who wait. im not in a hurry anymore. i enjoy building a relationship on other things besides sex. go ahead everyone laugh it up. i dont care anymore. im tired of people laughing at me for something that i believe in very strongly. i hope my beliefs are not pushing someone away. maybe if they understood it was a decision i have personally made from past experiences. maybe if they understood that it was not easy for me to be who i am. maybe if they understood that i want more than physical. maybe if the understood that i am constantly fighting myself. maybe if they understood that its not that i do not want to but i know i should wait. maybe then they will not laugh at me. i hope that im not pushing someone away that is important to me. when the time is right for me then i will give you everything you want but i need to understand my decision, i constantly wonder what it would be like to be as everyone else. im tired of being different. im tired of being laughed at. im tired of being the one who gets past over cause i would not conform. i hope i am not pushing away someone who is important to me. plz understand